So the powers that be are circling like whitetip sharks at a Sharm el-Sheikh eat-all-u-can scuba feast, and are about to round up Julian Assange (thought to be hiding out in South East England — my bet's Brighton) on an extraordinary charge of refusing to wear a condom during consensual sex.
There must be many blokes out there shuddering at the thought of their own irresponsible sex-lives and fearing the midnight knock at the door. Wimmin, ladies, gurls, if you really care about Julian and freedom of information, go to Sweden with a sweetie, have unprotected sex and then shop your beau to the authorities, yelling, "I am Spartacus. And so is he. We shall not rubber up." Clog up the machinery, bruthas and sistahs.
China should give the Wikileaks dissident political asylum before he is arrested on trumped-up rape charges. (More about the charming Ms Anna Ardin and her unfortunate CIA connections here and here.) So what if he stirred it up between China and its spoilt child, North Korea? Offering asylum promises a few laughs and an embarrassment of riches — or a treasure trove of embarrassment.
Amazon and PayPal have played politics with their business, dumping their client, and now the Swiss Post Office has shut down one of Julian's bank accounts (this is Switzerland, fer cryin' out loud) — so much for market forces. Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin calls for him to be hunted down like a bear-shoot from a helicopter, and senior Republican Mick Huckabee demands his execution. Thank heavens I don't live in China where they shut down internet dissidents and freedom of speech.
What's the betting that the next Bond movie has a pussy-stroking villain eerily similar to our eccentric Antipodean idealist? (That pussy will get you into trouble every time!)
Talk about breaking a butterfly on a wheel.
UPDATE Tuesday 7th Dec 2010: Julian Assange has been arrested. It'll take a couple of days for the UK courts to decide whether or not he has a case to answer and whether he'll be extradited. Given the pressure from the US, it'll be a brave judge who frees him.
No condom Assange sex smear.
UPDATE 2: An interesting comment by Harpy Marx with links to some strong counterarguments, such as at Feministe.
China should nominate Assange for Nobel Peace Prize.